Grief at my table

My name is Lori and I live with grief. My sweet baby girl died in my

womb. Don't leave me before our time has begun. Life around me goes
on she is buried in the cold winter dirt and I am left to face the vast field of sorrow called
grief. I feel others thinking it is time to move on, leave this in
the past. Cheer up you can have another baby. The words that society
is thinking offend me mostly because they also come from the dark
recesses of my own mind. I fight with myself to exhaustion. I feel
alone in my grief when I can't even find peace with my own soul.
Peace does comes when I surrender to grief. The monster becomes tame and I
give myself up to it. It is in these moments of peace that my baby
comes to me in spirit. There is no space between heaven and earth.
Death has no power in this space to separate and hurt the living. The
task me for now is to learn with this new companion called grief, this
companion that choose me. Grief and I will eventually learn to get
along. We are disagreeable now and I am incessantly uncomfortable
with the tears and the heavy feeling on my chest that threatens
suffocation. With practice I will learn to appreciate grief because
God gave it to us for a reason. My name is Lori and I live with
grief.